All before 8 AM...

Ah Monday. Today was a day that the odds were against me, screaming at me to STAY AT HOME and HIDE UNDER THE COVERS!! I was certain that the following events were a precursor to a more hideous fate, and that Fate was indeed warning me to stay away today.

6:30 AM: Alarm goes off after the third time I hit "Snooze". Decide it was time to get up. The Husband rolls over and sleepily notes that MKF is perched atop our laundy hamper- how cute that she is up there looking at us. I get up, my heart all fuzzy and warm that our beloved pet is guarding us over any intruders such as crowes or sparrows. I pet her head and wonder how she got up there without us hearing a thing. I notice that she probably used the footstool as a little step to get up to the top of three foot high hamper. I also notice on the footstool is the blanket that my Grandma made me when I was five. This is when I also notice that there is A BLACK STREAK on the blanket. WHAT. It took me all of five seconds to put two and two together. Nasty CAT LITTER STREAK ON MY BLANKET. OH. MY. GOD. I start yelling at the cat and she takes off down the stairs in order to escape my fury. I grab the blanket and head towards the washing machine.

6:35 AM: Washing machine still has laundry from previous day. I had attempted to remove a stain from my new favorite shirt that I had only worn twice. Darling lavender Three Dots shirt. Expensive Three Dots shirt. My favorite Three Dots shirt. Did I mention it was expensive? After removing the laundry from the washer, I notice that the stain is indeed gone from my shirt, however the F***ing stain remover BLEACHED my shirt. I am still veklempt as I type. I can't believe it was RUINED! RUINED!!! I just wanted to cry at this point.

6:37 AM: Pissed, upset, mad, tired- you name it. I throw the blanket in the wash and try to get the nasty cat stuff off my blanket. I hop in the shower. After a quick shower I hear the most hideous noise coming from the washing machine. It's not just a "Off Kilter" sort of noise, but a metal grinding metal noise. Horrified- I stop the machine. At this point, The Husband is up and trying to help me with the washing machine. He figures out how to drain the washer and I pull out the blanket, sopping wet. He tells me not to worry about the washer and that he'll look at it after work.

7:25 AM. Hair is dried and dressed for work. I go back into the bathroom to apply necessary makeup. As I turn to look into our little medicine cabinet mirror, my back freaks out on me. It's tweaked, pinched, twisted- whatever. It hurts like hell. I continue to try and get ready, groaning a bit as I putter about the house. The Husband advises Aleve and a helmet. The Aleve is for my back, and the helmet- well, for whatever else is going to come down on my head.

7:35 AM: No hope of catching the bus to work, sore back, broken washing machine, stupid cat and a ruined shirt.